So this morning I got to Newark airport at 7 ready to board a 7:55 flight. Unfortunately the flight was actually leaving at 7:25 and they wouldn’t let me run the gate “Dumb & Dumber” style. There’s not many people who can say they missed a flight due to dyslexia!! Anyways I luckily got on the next flight and of course there was a hassidic Jew** man sitting next to me. I would get stuck next to the overweight guy who can’t shower because it’s “against his religion”. I don’t mean to be a bitch but… 1. Planes are tiny places where everyone can smell everything 2. I don’t understand the by laws of your religion and what not but how is it that you can’t wear deodorant but you’re allowed to go in a plane? 3. I’m sorry that was mean. I guess we can be friends. Thanks for helping me out of the bathroom when I turned into a retard and locked myself inside. 4. All of the above is true. So all in all it was a good trip home. Next time I must focus hard on the numbers that tell me what time my flight is, and I’ll try not to give smelly men dirty looks because who knows? They might help me out of an airplane bathroom from the 70’s one day!!
***Hassidic, orthodox, was he even Jewish? Does it matter? I have no idea what I’m talking about in regards to the Jewish religion. You can finish reading now if you want.